


All Hail the Almighty Tallest(s)

by dinosaurus_maj



Series: You the Magenta Tallest and Your Two Idiots [1]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: ? - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, But some of this stuff could be interpreted as RaPR, By red and purple are bros I meant they're best buds, Developing Relationship, Donuts, Established Relationship, Explosive Sodas, F/M, Feelings, Gen, I don't hate zim, I was rereading the tags and thought I should clarify, I'm Sorry, Ice Cream, If I don't get distracted first, Implied/Referenced Self-Amputation, Irken Empire (Invader Zim), Irken Politics, Irken Reader, Irkens (Invader Zim), Irkens are Terrible (Invader Zim), Irkens have no idea what a crush is, Just One Bed Trope, Just a disclaimer, Kinda, M/M, Not Beta Read, One Shot, Past Relationship(s), Platonic Relationships, Pre-Canon, RaPF, Reader's gender is not specified, Reader-Insert, Red and Purple are bros, Red and Purple are mean, Red and Purple are slobs, Slight OOC maybe?, Tallest Reader, This got way too long, This one mostly focuses on you and Red, Very AU, We'll get there, You are Purple aren't very close yet but don't worry, Zim warning, but not really, he does his thing, headcanons galore, is that right, slight tension, snacking, snacks, sodas, some fluff at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:27:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25479916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dinosaurus_maj/pseuds/dinosaurus_maj
Summary: Your plan was to become the Tallest.BecomingaTallest wasn't that plan.(originally titled 'Not to Plan')
Relationships: Almighty Tallest Purple & Almighty Tallest Red, Almighty Tallest Purple & Reader, Almighty Tallest Red & Reader, Almighty Tallest Red/Reader
Series: You the Magenta Tallest and Your Two Idiots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1859857
Comments: 6
Kudos: 43





	All Hail the Almighty Tallest(s)

**Author's Note:**

> AAAAAAH THIS TOOK WAY TOO LONG BUT IT'S DONE
> 
> so I've had this Tallest Reader idea for awhile now haven't really figured out how to write it until I decided to just say "screw it" and just write it and after multiple drafts here is what is possibly the first part of a series!
> 
> I have ideas for more, but seeing as school has started up for me I'm not gonna be able to write too much so updates might be slow. That's also why this chapter might have a lot of errors (Sorry! ;w;). I don't have the time to go through it and edit it more thoroughly rn so I'll just do that at some random point in the future. So, have this mess for now!

So, where should we begin with this?

Probably the Coronation. No, not _your_ coronation. _The_ coronation. In your eyes, that was when things started to go wrong.

While you knew that you were becoming the Tallest one day, you never expected to share the role with anyone. That was the case with many if not all of the Tallest. They were the supreme, the superior, the elitist of the elites and the tallest of the tall (as per the title). They were held higher in regard and literally towered higher than any other Irken in the empire. That was the case with Almighty Miyuki and her first successor Spork, though _he_ didn't last long to enjoy it. You expected it to be the same with you (minus the horrifying Tallest-eating blob, of course.) but somehow, in some way, you were completely, utterly wrong and your Irken dream job became the worst of Irken nightmares.

Like those, the encoding of two—especially _three_ Tallest were absurdly rare. Irkens don't get nightmares, but you should've known by now that you'd be living in one. You weren't a stranger to the twists of fate and you should've expected that it'd pull the tablecloth from right under your figurative snack pile right as you were about to have it all.

The Control Brains didn't tell you about your fellow Tallest. No one did. On the biggest, most important day of your life you expected to feel high, mighty and _tall_ , but all you felt was angry and cheated. You weren't _meant_ to be sharing the highest Irken honour with two idiots. Irk, Almighty Miyuki didn't have to—swamp-eyed dumb-faced _Spork_ didn't have to. So why, _why_ did you have to be encoded Almighty Tallest next to some giggling, chocolate-smeared, glorified smeets?

As you stand on the podium overlooking all the smallers, you wonder if perhaps you should be grateful. It could've been worse. They could've been _taller_ than you, but right now, you'd prefer to be their underling instead of having to share the Almighty Tallest title with them. They were jokes.

You knew them, Irken Elite Red and Purple. Irk, you used to be _partners_ with Red many, many cycles ago, before you grew a few inches and became the head of Tallest Miyuki's flagship crew. You were different back then—reckless, unorganized and short, just like Red, but time at the Almighty Tallest's side does many things to an Irken. It didn't change you, it just made you realise a lot of things.

As you glance out of the corner of your eye at your fellow snickering, squirming Tallest, you hope that they'll realise those things too.

The roaring of the crowd of smallers below you steadily quiets to excited murmurs and whispers as the Announcer calls for their attention. He was about a head shorter than you but he was tall (and popular) enough to have the respect of the smallers. He recites a long, formal speech filled with flowery words and praise for the Almighty Tallest and the Control Brains, who were looming high above every other Irken in the massive hall. He took his time, but you remained at attention, your back straightened and head held high as you waited for the end of the speech. The same couldn't really be said for your fellow soon-to-be Tallest, though.

They got bored at some point and started a quiet exchange amongst themselves. You didn't pay it any mind, but you wished that they'd be more civilized. You did start to wonder about what they were talking about when you thought you heard your name mixed in somewhere within the idle chatter.

They stopped, to your relief, but the silence from them didn't last long.

"Psst."

Your antennae twitched, but you didn't acknowledge them otherwise.

"Psst! Hey!"

You flinched at that. It was loud enough to be heard by the Announcer, but fortunately he didn't catch it and he went on with the citation.

You were nudged in the arm and out of annoyance you finally turned your head and glared into Red's eyes. He returned the sour expression with a gleeful, cocky smile.

"Long time no see, huh?"

Your antennae twitched again. Your PAK whirs as it calculates the last time you've heard him address you in such a friendly manner, or even heard his voice at all, for that matter. You didn't like how much you liked the familiarity.

"Mmhm." you grunt, facing ahead again.

"It's really cool, right?" he whispers in a rushed, excited tone. "We're gonna be Tallest together."

"Uh," you hesitate. "Yeah."

He goes quiet. You figure that he expected to get more of a reaction from you, but you weren't really in the mood to join in on the hype with him at the moment. You had to admit, you felt really tense, and that mixed with your trepidation and annoyance did dampen your excitement.

Next to you, Purple leans towards Red and whispers, "Y'know what, your pal's a bit of a buzzkill."

Your mouth twists in irritation. You tune them out, but Purple's pitchy, annoying voice put itself on the forefront of your mind. You. Were _not_ a buzzkill. You just had better priorities than eating every existing snack available and blowing a solar system into oblivion with highly lethal weapons. No matter how fun those sounded...

Tuning back to the Announcer, you realise that he was finishing up the citation.

"...now, for the special, really cool, super necessary thumb-severing ritual of the Almighty Tallest!" the Announcer announced. "To prove that they're cool enough to rule us without thumbs that are really essential for holding stuff!"

He steps aside, and where he was stood in front of you three podiums rose out from beneath the floor, each presenting a tray and knife for each of you. The crowd of smallers quiets, their little PAKs brimming with anticipation and excitement. You pick up the clear, steel knife. Your reflection stares back at you from its surface as you hold it up. This was it.

"You know, I kinda expected laser-blades."

You turn to look at the tallers next to you. Purple was holding his knife casually, swinging and twirling it between his fingers like a bored soldier on duty. Red simply gave his knife an idle look as he held it. You sort of expected them to just slice off their thumbs without a second thought, but it seemed like they weren't all too psyched about this aspect of being a Tallest.

"They're way cooler." Purple sighs. He looks up from the knife and suddenly his eyes widen. He gasps loudly and dramatically and exaggeratedly points out towards the far side of the hall. "HOLY MIYUKI! WHAT ON IRK IS THAT?!"

The volume of his screech startled you so much that you almost stabbed yourself. A wave of concerned gasps washes over the crowd as everybody turns around to search for whatever it was that he could be pointing at. You were about to do the same when Red puts his hand on your shoulder, catching your attention. He had the widest, cheekiest grin on his face, an expression that you recognised well even after all these years without it. Complete, utter horror drops into the pit of your squeedlyspooch.

"Oh no," you groan. "What did you—"

He pulls his hand out of his pocket and holds out a pair of thumbs to you. Cold sweat beads your forehead.

"No way."

"Yes way," he snickered. "Just slide them on and cut them off. No one is gonna notice."

"But I can't—" You paused. Took a deep breath and steeled your expression. "Every Tallest has to—"

"Do a pointless, dumb ritual that's just really inconvenient and no one really cares about in like, ten years?" he snorts, holding himself back from outright laughing. "Really, what Tallest ever actually does this? Remember Spork's ceremony? There was zero blood. It's just a dumb, made up tradition by some dumb Tallest that wanted to make himself look cooler."

"It's a tradition," you point out. "Tallest Miyuki did it."

"What do we care about what dead people think? They're _dead_ ," he says, and honestly, he has a point there. "And believe me, I've tried holding a slooshie cup without thumbs. It's annoying."

Still, though, you hesitated. Behind him, Purple's still screeching at the top of his lungs, insistently pointing all over the hall at some invisible threat and making the Security Drones run around all over the place and unnecessarily blow holes into the hall with their plasma canons. From the enjoyment on his face, you suspected that he was unnecessarily making them scramble through the crowd from one side of the room to the other with their short little legs on purpose.

Red shoves the thumbs into your face.

"C'mon. Hurry up." he prompts.

"With all due respect, sir," the Announcer says, turning around. "There's nothing—"

"GAAAAH LOOK OUT!" Purple screeches.

The Announcer screams and falls to the floor, avoiding a nonexistent threat. You swipe the thumbs from Red's palm, being sure to keep an eye on the Announcer as you did.

You fold your real thumbs over your palms and slide the false thumbs over where they should be, the strings they were attached to securing them easily. Red and Purple do the same, biting their lip as they tried not to break out into laughter.

"I'm going to get into so much trouble for this." you mutter to yourself. It was too late to back out, though. If you stalled any longer, people were going to get suspicious and you'd definitely be busted then.

"Oh, hey, you finally got it, awesome!" Purple shouts out. There were some confused murmurs, but the Announcer clears his throat to get the crowd's attention again. He brushes himself off and straightens up, a bit of an embarrassed smile on his face.

"Alright then—" he coughs. "Back to the ceremony!" He turns to you and smiles, and hundreds of eyes focus on you again.

Looking from your fellow Tallest to the false thumbs, you sigh, resigned.

"Here goes nothing."

* * *

The thumb ritual went off a bit disastrously, but the encoding, thankfully, didn't involve any more shenanigans from your now fellow Almighty Tallest. Despite the unintended keeping of your thumbs, the ceremony successfully went off as intended (if you ignored the rubble and collapsed parts of the hall). No one got eaten, and you were now the— _an_ Almighty Tallest. It would've been nice if you had grown a centimeter or two in the last few seconds, though. It wasn't unheard of.

Now that all of that was done with, it was time for the Feast of the Tallest, which was basically just for flexing on the smallers. They got to eat, too, but just not the limitless, literally all-you-can eat snacks at the Almighty Tallest Snack Buffet. On a circle of tables were piles and piles of donuts, slooshies, sodas, sundaes, candies, popcorn, pizza, pretzels, chocolate fountains—You swear, there was literally every single kind of snack here, it was kind of overwhelming. And it was all free for your taking.

The delighted screaming and laughing from next to you reminded you of your current main annoyance. _Your_ taking, and theirs. Red was already making a beeline for the slooshie machine and Purple was cramming as many donuts as he could into his gaping donut-hole. You had _some_ dignity, hoarding all the sundaes that you could onto a tray before going to town on them at the snacking table. It took a bit for your fellow Tallest to join you, but you had been hoping for them to get lost in the snack mountains.

Red had a tray full of one of everything and about a dozen of icy drinks while Purple had gotten donuts, cupcakes, muffins and a bowl full of chocolate. You were content with your sundaes, but boy did their collections look good. Your appreciation only lasted for a fraction of a second, though, before your fellow Tallest started to fill as much of anything as they could into their mouths. Chocolate, crumbs, cream, sugary syrup and sprinkles spilled everywhere and you felt yourself lose some of your appetite.

You didn't know Purple all that well, but you already knew that he was the sloppiest of eaters. As for Red, you expected _some_ decency, honestly. At this point, you might feed _yourself_ to a horrifying Tallest-eating blob before the day's even over.

At least they didn't make a grab for your food. You would've definitely drawn the line there and started throwing fists.

"Oh, yeah," Red moans after taking a bite out of a stack of donuts covered in whipped cream. "Is this the greatest thing ever or what?"

"Owh yeah!" Purple responds with his mouth full, spitting crumbs and slobber all over his stash. "'an't get bettur than being Tallusht!"

Red then turned to you, the most lax expression on his face ever, contrasting your tight expression and stiff antennae and posture.

"So, is it everything you dreamed of?" he laughed, jabbing a thumb at Purple's gross eating habits.

Your face went warm and you glared at him. He had the _gall_ to make fun of you, the only one here bothering to put up a respectable appearance.

"You've got chocolate on your forehead." you point out.

He reached up to wipe it on his gauntlet, but all that did was smear it. You snorted a mocking laugh and turned back to your sundaes.

"Y'know, this kind of reminds me of when we used to sneak off to eat our secret stashes back on Devastis," he says, uncapping a slooshie cup. He chuckled to himself and chugged the icy water until it filled his mouth before swallowing. When you didn't say anything, he added, "You were a lot more fun then."

You scoop a spoonful of chocolate-slathered ice cream and stuff it into your mouth. Red frowns at your complete refusal to converse with him.

"C'mon man," Red sighs, scooping some icy water out of a cup. "You're being a bit of a bummer right now. Being Tallest is supposed to be _fun_."

"And snacky!" Purple chimed in. "Lots and lots of snacking!"

Red nodded in agreement to that.

You sighed heavily. Finally, you turned to address them. "Neither of you get it. I worked under Almighty Miyuki for a long time, I've seen the stuff a Tallest has to do. It's not just about doing fun stuff and snacking."

Red looked at you incredulously. "What's the point, then?"

You rolled your eyes. "Look, just follow my lead and you'll get it."

The Announcer approaches the snacking area but didn't walk any closer past the first snack mountain table. He tapped his microphone before clearing his throat and beginning his next announcement.

"Attention to all Irkens short and tall! I know you're all having the time of your lives filling up your snack-holes, but let's spare some of your time to give praise to our newest Almighty Tallest! ...s."

Oh, here we go. One by one, the taller Irkens began to stand and make their way to your shared table. You straightened, wiping some chocolate sauce and vanilla ice cream from your mouth and robes to look more presentable, but your fellow Tallest couldn't seem to care less.

A tall Irken stops in front of your table—Not as tall as you of course, but still. He was clad in the formal uniform of a Commander with his shoulders squared and head held high. His antennae wiggled in salute.

"My Almighty Tallest," they began. "It is an honour to be able to bask in your—all of your presence...s. As your smaller, I offer you my utmost loyalty and devoted service."

You opened your mouth to reply, but Purple beat you to it, barking out, "It sure is! And, uh, if that offer doesn't come in the physical form of edible snacks can you move along, please?"

The Commander looked taken aback by his dismissive demeanor. You quickly rush in to save the situation.

"What my co-Tallest _meant_ to say was—" you glared at him out of the corner of your eye. "We _appreciate_ your loyalty, Commander, and thank you for your service."

The shorter Irken nodded and lowered his head, saluting again before walking on. Red and Purple looked absolutely dumbfounded.

"So... We're kissing up to the people who're kissing up to _us_?" Purple questioned, baffled.

"Yes," you say, shoveling some more ice cream. "It's so that we can build up a respectable image and reputation. It's surprisingly easy."

They both exchanged a look before turning back to you.

"Your plan's boring." Red blurted out.

"Yeah. It sucks." Purple added. "We're tall, everyone already respects us!"

You opened your mouth to retort, but the forceful stuffing of a donut in your mouth stopped you.

"We've got a better, _funner_ plan." Red grinned.

"Watch and learn, Lollipop." Purple snickered.

You glared, bit down on the sugary dessert and said with your mouth full, "Don't call me—"

"You three!" Purple shrieked, jabbing a finger at the next few smallers in line. "Do something interesting!"

They exchanged confused looks and the one at the front pointed to themselves. "Us?"

"Yes, you," Red affirmed. "Get over here and entertain us."

"But uh..." She looked to the other two Irkens for help. They only shrugged. "How? What do you want us to do?"

"Dunno. Dance or sing or something," Red shrugged. "Tell a joke. Do something funny."

The three Irkens, obviously unprepared, stood dumbfounded for a moment before attempting an unorganized dance.

"Uh... The Almighty Tallest are so great!"

"They're as cool as the things they... ate?"

You could only watch, stupefied as Purple made a buzzing noise and threw an empty donut box into their faces.

"Zero out of ten; That sucked." he deadpanned. "NEXT!"

"You've gotta be—" You were spoonfed a full scoop of ice cream this time.

The next Irken walked up, and upon having witnessed the humiliating fate of their comrades came a bit more prepared.

"Uh, what do you call cheese that isn't yours?"

"Yeah, 'nacho cheese', we've heard that before." Red sighed. His statement was followed by the toss of an empty slooshie cup from Purple, sending the Irken running off screaming. "Next!"

"This is _not_ —" They simply shushed you this time as the next Irken approached. From behind his back, the smaller produced some Almighty Tallest puppets (from the official line of merchandise, of course) and played out a quick skit. You thought it was completely stupid but the idiots next to you seemed to enjoy it.

"Six out of ten; Yay puppets!" Purple declared. Red plucked a chocolate bar from his stash and offered it to the puppeteer.

The smaller wasted no time in taking it out of his fingers and running off gleefully. Upon your look of disbelief, Red says, "They can have _some_ of our snacks. As a treat."

"That's not really the problem here."

Despite your protests, the absurdity continued. One after the other, the smallers danced, sang, joked or screamed. Your fellow Tallest hollered and guffawed, evidently having the time of their lives while you sat to the side and stewed in humiliation, embarrassment and hopelessness.

"Hey, come on, stop being so lame," Red groans, nudging your shoulder. "The only thing you ever talked about when I knew you was becoming a Tallest. Enjoy it!"

Your glare hardened. You slowly pulled a spoon out of your mouth, swallowing the scoop of ice cream.

"I wanted. To become _the_ Tallest," you hissed. " _Not_ share the title with a pair of dumb-dumb _lunatics_ who don't even know _the first thing_ about being—"

"My Tallest! Hey!"

All three heads turn. You search for the source of the voice but find no one. Purple looks at you and Red questioningly.

"You guys heard that too, right?" he asks.

"Down here, my Tallest. Look down!"

You let go of Red's shoulders (that you hadn't even realised you were holding in an iron grip) and leaned over the table. Your fellow Tallest do the same and the three of you look down on what was possibly the smallest Irken you've ever seen. He was fitted in the Invader uniform and Red and Purple cringed simultaneously at the sight of him.

"Oh no, it's..." Purple began.

" _ZIM!_ " They both dramatically cried out in distress.

Squinting your eyes at the smaller, you try to recall whoever-this-is. He looked just like the average Irken, gazing up at you with big, round, reddish-pink eyes. He also happened to be abysmally short but lacked any humility as he stood before his leaders.

"Uh... Who?"

Red pulls you back and harshly whispers, "You don't know Invader Zim? He's a menace! Whenever he's around, things always go wrong!"

"Who let him in here!" Purple shrieks, not bothering to keep his voice down.

"Wow! Zim didn't know that he was so popular with the Tallest!" the little Irken exclaims. "Please, refrain from your praises for _ZIM!_ This is the day of the Tallest after all, and Zim has come to offer a gift and the highest praises of praises to his supreme and almighty leaders, as is required of him."

"NO!" Red was quick to say. "That's... That's okay, Zim! Because you're so great, you don't need to do anything for us!"

Purple nodded vigorously, being quick to back him up. "Yeah, we're already _super_ impressed. You don't have to—"

"Oh, but Zim _insists_!" the little Invader shouts. He reaches behind him, and suddenly you get the sinking feeling that something is about to go very, very wrong.

"Uh oh." Red mutters, sharing the sentiment.

The Invader pulls out a massive bottle double his size and plops it down in front of him with a heavy _thump!_ The three Tallest in front of him blink at it simultaneously.

"Uhh, where'd you pull that from?" Purple inquired.

"Wait a minute," Red peers at the bottle a bit more closely and gapes. "No way! That's the super-duper exclusive limited-edition Super Fizz Ultimate Cherry-Chocolate-Vanilla Flavour Rocket Soda Cola!"

Invader Zim barks out a laugh, smacking the oversized soda bottle with the back of his hand proudly. A concerning fizzy noise emits from it and a few bubbles fly up in the deep red liquid.

"It sure is! My Tallest, you have no idea the lengths I went through to get this, just for you!" He climbs up the bottle and wraps his limbs around the top. "Zim shall go ahead and uncap it, and then we shall all toast in honour of the Almighty Tallest."

"You know, I heard that those things are highly flammable," you muse. "Is it really safe to—"

"Nonsense!" Invader Zim grunts. The bottle wobbles and shakes precariously as he tries his best to secure his little hands around the giant cap and twist it open. "It's... Completely... Safe!"

"Uh, Zim..." Red tries to get his attention, but the little Irken was too preoccupied.

"Hmm, maybe, if Zim shakes the bottle," he mused aloud. "Then the cap will pop right off! A-ha!"

At that moment, you and your fellow Tallest, for the first time ever, had the exact same thought.

" _No!_ "

" _Don't!_ "

" _Stoooooop!_ "

Zim swings on the bottle, causing the soda to shake and fizzle like crazy. Everyone was too frozen in horror to stop him.

_POP!_

"A-HA! VICTORY FOR ZIIIII— _AAAAAAAAAAH!!!_ "

In a burst of cherry, chocolate and vanilla-flavoured soda, the bottle goes flying, taking the offending Invader with it. Everywhere, shouts and screams ring out, including a synchronized scream from you and your fellow Tallest at the top of your lungs.

"AAAAAAH! SECURITY! SECURITYYYY!" Red screams.

"HELP, HELP, HEEEEELP!" Purple shrieks. The bottle rockets around at a crazy speed, lurching Zim about as he holds on for dear life. Somehow, in all the chaos, you managed to appreciate his steel grip.

Armed Security Irkens rush around the room after the screaming soda projectile, causing more mayhem as they crash into tables and knock over other Irkens. Snacks fly and soda sprays everywhere, turning the entirety of the communal dining hall floor into an oversized, sugary and creamy slip-and-slide.

"AAAAAAH!" Purple continues to scream. "Blow it up! Just blow it up!! SHOOT IT DOWN!!!"

At the command of their Tallest, the Irkens aimed their blasters and shot at the rocketing soda bottle. Either Zim has the best luck in the entire universe or your soldiers had terrible aim because each shot missed and instead blew up the ceiling and walls.

"No, wait, stop! STOP!!!" you shout out desperately as you tug at your antennae. "You're making it worse!"

As if to prove your point, a stray plasma beam shot over your heads and caused bits of the ceiling to rain down on you. More of your own screams rang in your ears, and in a same-braincell moment, both you and Purple threw yourselves onto Red and tackled him to the floor.

"Ow!" he exclaimed. He reached up to rub the back of his head, looking at the two of you accusingly. "That hurt!"

When you finally look up again, things don't look any better. The split commands between two Tallest had the soldiers confused and they were now running into each other and sending plasma blasts out in every direction. By some lucky (or really, unlucky) shot, a blast struck the bottle directly. In a fantastic and awesome/awful reaction, the bottle burst in a massive, spectacular, _fiery_ explosion that sent the ceiling collapsing in on itself. Irkens screamed and ran. The Almighty Tallest put their arms over each other and ducked their heads as rubble fell around them.

* * *

When the dust finally settled and the screams stopped, you raised your head again to look around you. Beside you, Purple coughed and Red brushed some rubble off of his robes. Fortunately, the explosion had mostly been focused on the middle of the giant ceiling, sparing you and your fellow Tallest located at one side of the room. You couldn't really say the same for some of the smallers, though. Some had undoubtedly gotten squashed, but others were lucky enough to have gotten out of the way in time or narrowly avoided the falling debris.

To think that this was cause by some soda... it was ridiculous.

"No..." Purple wept, pushing a piece of the ceiling off of some squashed donuts. "My snacks!"

"My soda!" Red exclaimed.

" _My coronation!!!_ " you cried out. _Why_ did this have to happen to you? How could this have gone so terribly??!

A drawn out scream gradually grows louder and louder as it came in earshot, and on top of the rubble and disaster the soda bottle bounces down with Invader Zim still clung to it. He tumbles off with a shriek and falls behind some debris before popping up again and pumping out his fists, victorious somehow.

"ZIM LIVES!!!"

* * *

You were tired. So. _So_ tired.

Nothing had gone to plan. You weren't the Tallest, you still had your thumbs, your sundaes are a puddle under some rubble, and no matter how much you wanted to strangle someone, doing so to Red or Purple would cost you your rank, title, and position and Invader Zim's offences, according to the Control Brains, weren't "Reprehensible", which you thought was complete dookie.

You never expected to go to the Tallest Tower with two other Tallest by your side, especially not with your robes covered with dust and sprays of flammable soda. You were already contemplating incinerating these robes when you were leaving the hall and right now, hovering in the elevator as it brought you to the Tallest lounge, you didn't feel any differently. The day had been a disaster and you wanted no physical reminder of it.

The entire length of your journey to the Tower, you refused to participate in any form of conversation with your fellow Tallest, let alone look at them, no matter how much Red prompted you to. Your gaze constantly remained fixed ahead of you, and if either of them stood within your line of sight you'd just ignore them. If they couldn't not be there, then you'd just pretend that they weren't.

The chime signalling the elevator's arrival made your shoulders sag with relief. Floating into the room, however, reminded you of just how not-alone you really were.

There was only one lounge couch. One lounge couch to lie on and only just long enough for _one_ Tallest. The long groan from you is the only sound you've made for the entirety of the past hour. You had been hoping to finally get some rest and forget about the events of the day, but you had forgotten the circumstances you were currently in didn't permit that.

The Tallest lounge was an incredibly exclusive lounge, only accessible by and available only for the use of the Almighty Tallest and located in the highest room of the Tallest Tower that overlooked all of Irk. There was usually only one Almighty Tallest at a time, and since no one had been expecting the encoding of three Tallest, the lounge hadn't been customized to accommodate that.

You threw back your lowered head out of exasperation and released the heaviest sigh. Before either Red or Purple could beat you to it, you went for the outfitting chamber. Yes, there was currently only one of that, too. If you were going to have get used to this multi-Tallest thing, there was gonna have to be some changes around here.

You tapped the activation panel, and with a quiet whir the chamber closed around you. Red and Purple's idle chatter remained audible even from within the small chamber, but you couldn't be bothered to listen in on whatever it was that they could be saying. Your main concern at the moment was getting into some fresh, comfortable clothes not covered with ceiling and sticky soda, the second one being the claiming of the couch. If you had to fight for first usage of it, you would.

The loosening of the tight corset around your waist helped release the rest of the tension you felt and you sighed with relief. You've worn corsets as a Navigator and you have learned to be comfortable with them, but going without one was still preferred. The Tallest robes disappears somewhere into a hatch that you couldn't be bothered to locate and were replaced by a simple tunic and leggings. Your hover belt was re-cinched around your waist, however, because you had no intention of walking even a single foot at this point. If you were being allowed to float at all times, then by Irk you _will_ take advantage of that.

As you drift out of the chamber, you see Red and Purple sitting on the countertop of the snack bar, laughing and snacking as if everything was right in the universe. Well, maybe it was, but not to you. They were both so uncaring of everything that you almost envied them.

You couldn't remember the last time you'd been able to joke around so easily. Since working directly under Tallest Miyuki, letting loose and enjoying things has become a bit of a foreign concept to you.

A yawn escapes you, much to your and your fellow Tallest's surprise, bringing their conversation to a halt. Like any respectable Irken, you felt embarrassed for allowing them to witness evidence of your exhaustion, but if you were going to be working so closely together, things like that were bound to happen sooner or later. It was just another thing that you'd have to get used to.

"Don't touch my donuts," Red warned as he slid off the countertop. "or you just might lose your thumbs after all."

The statement was directed towards both you and Purple. Despite the seriousness in his tone, you were able to detect the playfulness in the so-called threat, catching it in his expression as he passed by you.

You didn't acknowledge Purple as your hover belt lifted you onto the snack bar a good distance away from him, settling you down to face the opposite direction. He didn't acknowledge you either, continuing to gorge on the bag of donuts in his hand.

"Computer," you called out. The hidden robotic servant chimed in response, a bulb in a corner glowing pink. "Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, please. Medium size."

_"Of course, my Tallest."_

Irkens have been calling you that the entire day, but it still didn't fail to send a quick giddy rush through you and make your antennae bounce. It was the one thing from that day that you wouldn't mind having to get used to.

A small door on the gargantuan freezer slides open. A mechanical arm whirs as it extends to offer the requested carton of ice cream to you. You accepted it gladly and didn't waste a second to dig your spoon in and shovel an oversized scoop of ice cream into your mouth. The cold, sticky cream ended up getting smeared over your face, but whatever.

"Ooh."

You scowl as you turn to look at Purple. He returns the expression, not holding back from showing his distaste for your attitude this time.

"Yeesh, what's your problem, man?" he huffs. "You've been this moody since the ceremony."

"What's _your_ problem?" was your tired retort. You slide off the counter and float away towards the couch. "Stop bothering me."

"I didn't even—" he cuts himself off and doesn't bother to finish, instead sighing frustratedly and muttering to himself.

You sink yourself into the couch and allow your muscles to relax in the comfort of the cushions. You'd heard that the Tallest sit on Vortian cushions, and now you were able to know that those rumours weren't untrue.

As you lounge on the overly-comfortable couch, you surf through the channels available on the viewing screen and stuff more ice cream into your face. Conveniently, the screen has access to multiple cameras across the planet, to make it easier for the Almighty Tallest keep an eye on things, no doubt. There was likely a way to show multiple recordings at once, but you weren't really in the mood to figure it out at the moment.

You were so focused on your leisure that before you knew it, you were scraping at the bottom of your ice cream carton. A quick and simple command summoned up a wastebasket for you to dispose of it and that simply left you to continue surfing idly. You tried to focus on whatever could be happening on the screen, but you underestimated how exhausted you felt. Your eyes kept closing so many times that you forgot whatever the heck you were in the middle of doing.

Oh, right. Nothing. No duties, no worries, no having to chart another path to a conquered planet or making sure that your crew was on schedule. Just a chance to sit down and recollect. Maybe nap. That sounded appealing, for once.

You were leaning back so far that you were startled awake when the backrest of the couch suddenly fell back. You sit up frantically to look around you and see Red fiddling with something at the side of the of the couch.

"Ooh, it reclines!" he says excitedly, throwing himself down next to you. "Neat!"

Looking down, you realise that the couch had completely unfolded, allowing you to comfortably lie down on your back completely. This also meant that there was enough room for all three Tallest to lie down at the same time. Huh, that _was_ neat.

Red, now in the same comfortable clothes you were wearing, rests his bucket of popcorn on his lap and takes custody of the remote that you had been using to control the viewing screen. He flips through a few channels and camera footage before directly addressing you.

"This thing got any movies?"

For a few seconds, you stare at him, needing a bit of time to process the question.

"Movies?" you finally drawl. Red snickers and bumps you with his elbow.

"Don't tell me you forgot what movies are," he teases. You feel your face go warm and with a scoff, you toss your head to the side.

"Of course I haven't!" you retort. "I just haven't seen one in a while."

Red leaned back on an arm and threw a handful of popcorn into his mouth before replying.

"When was the last time you did?"

You think about it and, honestly, the answer was... embarrassing? You don't get how it could be embarrassing. You just know that Red might make fun of you for it.

"I think it was... before my growth spurt."

Red spits out some popcorn and you scrunch your face out of disgust.

"You're kidding!" he coughs, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. "That was like, a schmillion cycles ago."

You squint your eyes at the estimate, but you couldn't say you disagreed. "It wasn't, but yeah, it was a pretty long time ago."

"Man, no wonder you're so boring now," he mutters mostly to himself, but it was loud enough for you to hear. You smack his shoulder in retaliation. He doesn't react to it, though. "You know, I always thought that it was really cool to get to work so closely with Almighty Miyuki, but it seems really boring, to be honest."

You took offense to that. "No it wasn't! It was a great honour and I..." You paused. "Liked it."

Red snorts and grabs another handful of popcorn.

"Yeah, sure," he says, letting some of the snack spill down his chin as he fills his mouth with the handful. "There're already so many rules you gotta follow as an Elite. Can't imagine what they're like as Miyuki's crew."

He was right. He _can't_ imagine it. Compared to life as a Navigator on the Tallest's ship, being an Elite was a piece of cake.

Tallest Miyuki strived for perfection. Even the smallest mistake could get you thrown out of the airlock or even deactivated. You had the fortune of being tall, so she favoured you and was more lenient with your faults, but you still had to do a lot of adjusting. Getting promoted didn't only mean a higher status, it also meant that you had to give up your more slack lifestyle. It meant no more sneaking out, no more extra non-permitted snacks and no more questionably close relationships with fellow Elites and more effort into being a taller if you wanted to stay in Miyuki's favour.

"We make the rules now, though." Red says. When you looked at him again, there was this cocky, lopsided smirk on his face. Somehow, for some reason, the sight of it filled you with relief and allowed you to finally relax. It was friendly—Familiar, nice.

It made your squeedlyspooch feel funny.

"So chill out." He does that friendly elbow bump again. That funny feeling doesn't go away, not that you minded it much.

All those years working under Miyuki, you never allowed yourself to admit it, but...

You missed this.

You know what, who cares if you had to share the Tallest title with two idiots? As long as one of those idiots was Red, you could live with it.

"Hey, what's showing?"

A grin breaks out on Red's face and he turns around to face Purple, who's sat himself down at Red's other side.

"Literally anything." Red replies gleefully. He reaches out to steal one of the other's ice cream-dunked donuts. Purple smacks his hand away and sticks his own tongue out as he holds the bowl out of reach, only to stretch out his own hand and steal a handful of Red's popcorn. The kernels spill everywhere as he rushes to stuff them all into his mouth and Red wrestles with him to get a donut for compensation. All you could do was blankly watch the childish squabbling from the side.

On second thought, you _cannot_ nap like this.

**Author's Note:**

> Y'know, while I was brainstorming this, I sorta imagined the reader as a sort of magenta-themed Tallest? Would y'all be fine if they're sometimes referred to as Tallest Magenta or Gen (or just simply "the magenta Tallest"?) if I continue this? I'd rather not use stuff like y/n.
> 
> Anyway, this was a whole lotta fun to write and I was so excited to show it to y'all! Thank you for reading and I hope you all enjoyed it! (Y'all are welcome to point out any mistakes if you catch any!)


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